The Ghost With The Most

yeah its been a while.

my life is going pretty swell but i still feel empty.

my band is doing great. we're getting shows left and right and thats what ive always wanted. we're going to be recording soon. i have an awesome girlfriend. i only get to see her like once a week but its good. shes great.

and of course theres still a lot of bullshit that goes on. my parents are getting worse everyday. i dread the day that they get old and go scenile. its horrible the way it is. they forget everything they say and end up telling me 10 times then they ask why i get mad about it. i know mom, i know dad.

ive kind of cut myself off from most of the human race. all the asshole poeple that used to be there. theyre gone. pretty much anyway. theres still a few drifters. but youll have that.

i miss a lot of my old friends. i havent been to dallas in such a long time. joe got his car so hopefully ill be able to start seeing all the people that i never see anymore.

i miss my 2 old best friends. i miss deryk so much. i never see him anymore. he works all the time. hes got his own thing going now. hes going to make it. i always knew he would. and i miss shane so much. life hasnt been the same since then. and now that joe got his car, so many memories come back. it always used to me joe deryk and shane. and now shanes gone and deryk is never around. i admit. i do try and make plans with deryk as much as possible. but i still wish i could at least talk to shane. the kid was my best firend for 3 years. they both were and now theres hardly anything.

it makes me realize that people do change over time. whether they like to or not. it happens. because life has changed so much since last year. its the winter time already and eveyrthing is so miserable. i try to make the best out of it. i spend all my time with my friends because i cant fucking stand staying in my house more than 3 hours. everything is a fucking chore. and i just dont want to be a part of it. my parents make me do so much when i am here. and i hardly am. so i dont know why i need to be involved. they dont make donald do anything. well i dont mean to complain. its just i had to do stuff when i was his age. hes just a big baby.

i dotn even know if anyone reads this anymore. i just felt like getting it all out. it feels good. i mean otherwise im pretty content with my life. i just need to figure otu what it is im missing. i wish i could be in a bunch of places at one time. that would make everythign a lot easier.

school sucks. it always will. 11th grade isnt as bad as its cracked up to be though. this past week was midterms and i was sick all week so i have to make them up on monday and tuesday. im just glad its half over already. summer is going to be a blast. hopefully.

i just hope my life gets better from here.




"Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone"

so i havent updated this in exactly 3 months.

well, school sucks. but thats expected.

i have a girlfriend. and im actually in a band that works.

awesome. life is better since my last update.

life just isnt the same anymore after my overdose.
shanes in rehab. deryk never calls me. i dont know where josh is. foot is always somewhere else. matt madonna and steve hang out all the time.
kevin and carmine and steve pick are the only bros i have left. thats how it seems anyway.

and becca is in montana for a while. i miss her a lot.

i went to cape may for 5 days just this past week. and i came back yesterday. it was nice. i finally met this girl that ive been talking to for 3 years. it was great.

this summer was probably the worst summer ive ever had. people actually watned to fight me. i almost died many times. i did manage to get a tattoo though. so that was good. i just wish things were back to normal. and now school is less than 3 weeks away. i dont know. i dont think im ready to go back yet. but maybe i am. summer is boring. but im going on vacation again this month. from the 19th to the 26th with steve pick to ocean city, md. should be fun. ive never been there before.

The night has started, here we go
I've taken everything
This is our time to lose control
What do you want from me?

You line them up we'll put them down, this is so frustrating
To watch you sleazing all around, yet you keep on smiling

What can I do to make you see? (Look and see!)
What can I do to make you feel, you're wanted?
What can I do to make you see? (Look and see!)
I'm suffocating under words of sorrow

Her skin reflects behind the blur, I'm intoxicated
Where am I from? Why I am here? You're so predictable
Her fingers running through my hair, but it's all just fiction
She steps out form her underwear, so beautiful!

What can I do to make you see? (Look and see!)
What can I do to make you feel, you're wanted?
What can I do to make you see? (Look and see!)
I'm suffocating under words of sorrow

There's bodies lying on the floor, but I keep on staring
My world is over, close the door!

Her skin reflects behind the blur, I'm intoxicated
Where am I from? Why I am here? You're so predictable
Her fingers running through my hair, I've a new addiction
She steps out form her underwear, so beautiful!

What can I do to make you see? (Look and see!)
What can I do to make you feel, you're wanted?
What can I do to make you see? (Look and see!)
I'm suffocating under words of sorrow
Words of sorrow!

im praying for armageddon. HELLO ISRAEL. AND JESUS<333333333

my life was filled with drugs and poison. now because of my recent lifechanging experience, im straight edge. now and forever. im not following it for a fad. im following it for my own personal reason and its a good reason at that.

theres certain people that are bad at giving reactions. or at least a reaction i expect a "normal" person to give. it really pisses me off. i made a bad mistake.

wierd. weird. werd.

but of course, i tried to keep my heart inside of my chest but that fell through.

wow i havent updated in a long time. but back to my last post, TTEOTD didnt play. but Cephalic Carnage did and they were really good. and Scarlet. me and kevin left before A Life Once Lost.

last night was my birthday party. im officially 16 now. and school is almost over. i got a lot fof money, a cd, a gift card, some checks and a butterfly knife from my brother.

i didnt get my permit yet. i went for it yesterday but i failed. haha. oh well.